ive gone out like 5x in 6 weeks. im not proud of it. im 25, single, employed, no kids- so i guess theres really not a damn reason i shouldnt be having an age appropriate good time. but its just not the norm for me and its catching up with me. ive been a little more groggy a little more often, which sucks. wasting calories on drinks, sucks (i love wet willies naked willy tho- 80 calories and low carb!) i am deff enjoying the shopping for new outfits though! its so fun to be able to try anything on. yesterday i put on size 8 pants! wtf! i used to be a 24!
so, yesterday i had a really good training session in the pool. my trainer used to train olympic swimmers so she takes it seriously. she put these weights on my ankles and hands that are actually floats- not weight and the resistance comes from trying to keep them in water. it was MUCH harder than it looked- especially because she is obsessed with proper form and when you do things correctly- as to not hurt your back and get the best workout- it usually doesnt feel too good. the hour in the pool was good, it was tough but i enjoyed it and felt great. when i got out and was showering i was getting a little nauseous and my belly was gurgling... my trainer said my internal gasses were prob out of wack from all the movement in the water. she treated me to massage because she had an appt for one after our session and the whole time i was thinking about my belly hurting. it was a pretty sweet rub, but i was distracted unfortunately.
i left and went to nuerofeedback and i was still hurting. ran to the bathroom and puked- atleast its a really clean bathroom. totally sucked though. i was early, which was good because i puked quite a few times. i had no idea what i was puking because i hadnt eaten anything but a spinach and fruit smoothie and shakeology. i got up and rinsed my face and mouth and felt way better. i went to my appt, and the store and still felt fine. i had promised to go out for my friends birthday and since i felt better and it was going to be an early night, i got ready to go. i ate an avocado stuffed with veggies and tofu and drank some organic lemonade.
while i was out i had one tequila & pineapple. i sipped it for about 2 hours, never felt drunk or even buzzed really. we left and i was in bed by 230. at 4am i wake up sweating my ass off with diarrhea and puking. i felt like i was dying! i passed out on the bathroom floor and woke up in a puddle of sweat, only to let out prob another liter of fluids. i had NO idea where the hell these were coming from because i hadnt consumed much. so i knew i needed to replace them so i kept trying to drink water but i couldnt keep it down. this continued until about noon, i had to call out of work. that is NOT like me. i feel kind of guilty like i shouldnt have gone out on a work night, but im not sure it was the alcohol. like i said, 1 drink! made with patron & (artificial, im sure) pineapple juice. all the other birthdays i went out for i drank atleast 2 drinks... so i am thinking it was because i hadnt eaten enough, or i had a bug earlier i somehow got over temporarily. i dont know.... but it was really weird and really horrible.
The good news is even before I even went out I'd already made the decision I was retiring after tonight. Ill be back to my once a month party maximum and on grind mode like I should be.
i was afraid to drive so i asked evan if he could bring me something to hydrate and crackers. he brought me gatorade and saltines (no salt on top). not shit id normally eat but i had nothing but lemonade and fruit and veggies in the house and that all sounded terrible. the crackers made me feel soooo much better. i took a bath and i actually was just able to get down a glass of shakeology- so i anticipate feeling a lot better by tomorrow.my belly is actually a little gurgly right now so i may have had too much too soon... i felt good enough to get it in me tho so i figured,fuck it! i only had about 800 calories including the drink yesterday because of feeling sick earlier in the day. then it all came out so i know my body is nutrient deprived right now. im not sure what caused me to be sick but it was nothing major or i would be able to single it out. its so its crazy how something most likely so minor can make someone SO sick! i dont like not feeling good and not knowing why!
the good news is between yesterday and today i managed to lose 5lbs. i know its all water weight so i can expect it to come right back, but at least ill hopefully not feel bloated when we film the last 2 days this week. i wish i could give you more details about the show but until we have the official green light i dont want to jinx it. in the mean time it is SO hard though! i wanna talk all about it and post a million pics!
as for filming last week, it went well. i was a little insecure because the outfit that had been chosen for me was not the most flattering to my flat chest, especially when everyone else at work has a pretty sweet rack. but i must not have looked that bad or they wouldnt have specifically requested it. i didnt feel fat or insecure tho. they got wraps for lunch and got me a veggie one because they knew i was vegan. it was shredded lettuce and diced tomato, thats it lol.. it was from a deli and obv the deli understood "veggie wrap" as a meat wrap, minus the meat. it was flavorless and bland but it didnt bloat me and it didnt make me sick. i appreciated it. i did have a few shots of pink patron with the cast. at the end of the night they ordered papa johns and i completely avoided it. woohoo! not even one slice.
my friend kim was in town so we went to this restraunt SUBLIME in fort lauderdale. its 100% vegan and off the chain. i went there for the first time a few days before for a presetation called "101 reasons to be vegan" presentation. it was awesome. the most memorable part : "what is an egg? dont say a baby chicken because its not, it hasnt been fertilized. when a human produces and egg and its not fertilized what does the body do with it? excretes it as a period. when you eat eggs, your eating chicken period!" the presenter was some young guy from new jersey and he was hilarious. i got take out that night and it was so good i decided to go back with kim. we had a good time and greeeeeat food.
the next day i had to shoot again, and i still felt pretty good. however, i had been on a shakeology, juice, and salad diet for like a week prior so i wouldnt feel fat for filming. i was DYING to eat food and decided id allow myself to eat that day after i filmed. i finished around 2 and i had someting terrible that had been eyeing me all day- a chocolate glazed donut. it didnt make me sick, but i wasnt hungry for hourrrrrs. that night i ate more than normal, nothing terrible but i did indulge. i had oreos- which believe it or not, are vegan. i had kims left over thai tofu curry (with white rice). i dont even remember what else i had, but i got right on track the next morning. because i ate mostly "good bad food" i actually didnt feel fat and bloated the next day either.
im getting really excited about my arms. i have like a permanent roll i never thought id lose and its SO close!! in some pictures it doesnt even show- and im not consciensly hiding it. i thought id have a lot more sag. my trainer thinks because i am so young my arms and thighs will tighten up with time. i might start taking collagen, cant hurt to have a little extra lol