I have a client who is a yoga and fitness instructor. she also does some rehabilitation from my understanding and is vegan. She's gotta be about 50- I only say that because she has an adult daughter. She doesn't look 50 and she has the energy of a 20 year old. Plus she has a 6pack and all around amazing body. But this woman is so health conscious and so inspiring. I LOVE talking with her. the other day we had an amaZing conversation while coloring her hair. Id like to share it with you.

The word exercise comes from the Greek word exorcism.

What is an exorcism? When your body is rid of its demons.

Back in the day, before our doctors were just pill pushers in white jackets, when you were sick the doctor would come over and "exercise" you back to health. Sit down, stand up, sit , stand. Jog around the yard. Break a sweat. Good good, it's working.

This is how you got better when you were sick.

Nowadays when were sick we take a pill to get rid of the symptom. The problem is that you didn't get rid of the problem. We need to take a couple steps back. Hooray for science and medicine but let's use common sense for once.

If you are constipated you'll be instructed to take a laxative to soften your stool and get it out of you. So now problem solved because you've ingested a chemical, and within days most likely you're going to be back to square one.

Next time, try to correct the problem instead of the symptom. Figure out WHy you're constipated, not what pill will end it. Most likely you're constipated from eating dairy and meat an other shit the human body was not designed to digest. Cut that crap in half and you'll be shitting much more regularly.

I know this from personal experience. When I eat 100% clean and vegan i shit atleast 4x a day. When I eat vegetarian almost as often. However recently I added cheese back into my diet and I am lucky to shit once a day. Some days I don't at all. Then I don't eat dairy for a few days and within a day or two it's all coming out.

There are 2 solutions. Ingest a chemical or eat better. The answer is SO SIMPLE.

Our talk this time really got my mind working. Plus I watched the movie "fat, sick, and nearly dead" recently and decided that once I get back from my trip north ill be doing a week juice cleanse and juicing regularly. But between the two I'd really like to return to being vegan.

I was vegan for about a year before my personal Great Depression where I lost all my money lol I could simply not afford to be vegan anymore. I could've if I only ate tortilla chips... But I could t eat healthy vegan food only. The total amount of money I made that entire year was only 4 digits. That's barely Money for any food, Nevermind healthy organic food. However when I was a healthy vegan I felt amazing. No bellyaches. No headaches. Quick ordorless bowel movements. Lots of energy.

It is deff time to get back to that. Idk if I'm going to dive in head first or work my way in slowly.... But it's coming. Ill keep u posted.

Things have been going alright. Theyre fabulous at the monent because im sitying by a fire in my new little back Yard :)

Life's been weird because my work schedule changed and I moved among other things. I deff have not been exercising as much as I should. I've been much more active than I was at a time- running around doing things and busy working. But actual time dedicated to 100% fitness has been scarce. My eating has been back and forth between fabulous and far from fabulous.

A week from today I am doing a 5k at 8am in MA. It's going to suck... I hate how my lungs feel running in the cold. It was in the 60s here one day that I jogged and I was burning on the inside lol I don't think I'm ready for that part of it! But physically I've gotta get ready. Tomorrow and Saturday I work at salons so depending on how long my day ends up will determine if I jog. Sunday however I am deff doing zumba on the wii with 2 friends and Monday I have plans to jog at the beach. Monday night I fly to MA, mom and I are going to jog Tuesday. Wednesday I have clients for 12 hours and then Thursday morning will be race day. I know ill be fine because my moms a good motivator a d it was easier to jog with her the first time I ever did a 5k without walking than it ever has been in my own since then.

The weekend after thanksgiving ill be in New York City so I know ill be doing plenty of walking there. Our hotel has a gym and my brother and I plan to work out atleast once during the 2 days.

This fire feels so good on my feet right now but I seriously just felt a raindrop.... :(

to be continued.

todays been a shitty day and its only 2pm.

i was talking with my new neighbor ( i moved just over a week ago) and we got on the topic of health and weight loss and before i had the opportunity to metion ive lost over 100lbs he began giving me tips about how I can lose weight and get healthier.

this is what i was talking about when i said people who dont know i was fat still look at me and think im fat... this guy (who is actually a really sweet and intelligent old man)may not have realized it but he reassured me to the outside world i still look fat and need to lose weight. so if you want to lose 100lbs folks- dont let your motivation be not wanting to be told youre fat or need to lose weight anymore. because unless you become societys ideal size (skinnny) there are going to be people who think youre still a cow.

i came in the house after that lovely conversation to finish a conversation on FB with an ex co-worker from my very first hair salon in MA. we had been talking about what a BITCH our old boss was and is and when i got back she told me " ashley i never wanted to tell you this but she used to talk shit about your clothes and you being fat beind your back all the time."

this is the woman whos been calling me a bad hairdresser since the first time i got a check bigger than hers probably. this is the woman who still talks about how ill "never be successful" even though i was one of the top 3 busiest hairdressers while I worked there. its 5 years later and i am nationally published in print, have been on national television styling hair, and am currently filming a reality tv show at the salon i work for..... OF COURSE she has a problem with my body too.

I do not know why i am so offended. i guess i was already sensative from the convo with my neighbor to hear that this bitch said that makes my blood boil.

if youve never heard of TORRID its a plus size clothing store. its the BEST plus size clothing store actually. this is no lane bryant. these are fashionable and super cute clothes for size 12-28. the same time i worked at the salon with this bitch manager I worked at torrid too. I got a sweeeet discount and spent my entire check on clothes. their clothes are not cheap ($28 tshirts, $70jeans). i worked there to shop there. on top of that my mother has spent thousands of dollars shopping with me there. I NEVER went to work looking trashy or frumpy. I NEVER went to work in clothes that didnt fit me. My bellly was NEVER exposed. My boobs were.... are fat girls not allowed to have cleavage?? if so i am guilty on that one. I ALWAYS buy pants that fit no matter how large the size- so there was no rolls/muffin top either.

The point is a whoooooooooole lot of time and a whole lot of money was put into giving me a professional wardrobe to start my career. i took pride in my appearance and actually felt really good when i was at work. To think the whole time this bitch was talking crap about how i looked makes me FURIOUS. no matter how big i was i ALWAYS took pride in my appearance.

Maria is not the only person to ever have an issue with my wardrobe. I think the world would prefer if fat people would all wear moomoos and garbage bags. However when I was in that body, I was proud of that body. So why would I want to hide it by wearing a curtain?! I guess the idea is that if your clothes are loose you will look like a big fat blob instead of the world seeing the definition of your fat? I mean, in my opinion those people look like a fat blob who doesn't care about themselves and I looked like a fat woman who had nothing to hide. Was I wrong for that? Since when is what others think supposed to matter? When I wore loose frumpy clothes I felt like a frumpy flat slob. When I wore fitted clothes I felt put together, and in some outfits sexy. Whether anyone else agreed didn't matter because it made ME feel good. So, if in order to get my self esteem to the point where I could fuckin kick ass at life, i had to sacrifice a few closed minds disliking my wardrobe, I guess I'm ok with that.


lets talk about the bitch for a moment. Her name is Maria. he's been the manager at a salon in Massachusetts for about 30 years. She treats most of her employees like shit- feel free to send her nonthreatening hate mail.

First of all id like to say FUCK YOU MARIA. you dont like how i dress? you wouldnt know fashion if it hit you over the head with a 20ft pole. You dont like that i am fat? then you may want to break every reflective surface your 300lb body walks past. You think i will never be successful because i move around too much? well then i guess sitting on your ass at a chain mall salon making 50% commission for 30 years must make you a REAL WINNER.

is it me? or does anyone else think MARIA IS A HATER. by 65 you should be over JEALOUSY and learn to be HAPPY. but youre an evil old c$@! who does nothing but trash her employees (esp those who are not portugese).

YOU FUCKING WISH you could have my success.
YOU FUCKING WISH you could have my wardrobe.
YOU FUCKING WISH you could have my talent.
YOU FUCKING WISH you could have my drive.
YOU FUCKING WISH you had lived a life more like MINE.

i am not the type to normally blame people not liking me on jealousy. but if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck its prob a duck!

i havent seen this woman in 4 years and she STILL feels the desire to talk about me. I get along with people well, Maria. Do you think because i dont work there anymore i no longer have relationships with my old co workers?  i still go to dinner with some of those people every 2 mons when i go home! some of the people she talks about me to i have known for 10 years! another is my FAMILY. IT WILL GET BACK TO ME.

THIS is Ms. Perfect size, talent, fashion sense herself, and this is actually a flattering picture (she normally wears prints, you know, typical plus size bullshit)

Now that i got my anger out i am going to end this on a much more mature and responsible note.

Maria,
I forgive you for the terrible things you say about me. I realize that in order for you to be so critical and hurtful to others there are very deeply rooted issues within you. Your life may not have turned out as you dreamed of but its time to either accept or improve..... the path youve chosen- tearing apart others- is never going to make you a happier person. you have many wonderful qualities but the ones you choose to highlight over shadow them. my uncle once shared this quote with me:
'everyone is born with a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of them. as we become adults one wolf will kill off the other and define how we treat people. the one that will win is who we feed the most. who are you feeding?'
my advice is to begin to feed the other wolf. it is never too late to learn to love others, to love life, and most importantly love yourself. your hatred has nothing to do with me. I will hope and I will pray that before your life passes you by you can learn to treat others how you wish to be treated- not necessarily how youve been treated. I am still learning everyday.... had i learned it all already i wouldnt have even written the first part of this post. I appreciate you for helping me to see flaws in myself, even tho they may not be the flaws youve pointed out. 
I wish you health, I wish you happiness, and I wish that one day youll have peace in your mind and heart so that you dont have to feel so judgmental toward others.
Ashley

-103lbs, -5ft in inches, 11months. No surgery.
YOU CAN DO IT.

I originally wanted to lose 85lbs so I could be under 200. Then I wanted to lose 100 so I could say I lost a whole 3 digits. Then I reached my goal... Now I guess it's time to maintain? I don't know exactly how. I sti want to eat good healthy food. I guess I need to eat more? Or have high calorie meals on a regular scedule ( a video I watched recently suggests 2x a week). I don't really know how to be healthy and not lose weight.... But I would rather keep losing while I figure it out than gain while I figure it out right?

If anyone's lost and maintained feel free to leave some tips for me. I'm about to be in the 170s and that was never the plan. I figured if be in 170s after a yummy tuck... Now it's looking like 160s. That is skinny. In not sure I want to be THAT small,.. But I don't have another option to remove my nasty ex stomach than to cut it off....

I think I need to just disregard numbers for a while. Maybe ill love to be 160. Guess only time will tell!

I drink so much frieking water. I was just observing all the tidying I need to do in my apartment and realized I have frieken water bottles everywhere! I reuse my bottles a few times to try to make up for the fact I even still buy bottled water. I do use a pure filter and drink water from a cup just as frequently though. I drink atleast 3 liters a day. Not forced I just love water and hate being thirsty. I almost always have water with me in my purse even if I'm just running errands- if I don't bring one I end up buying one! Hope I don't drown :-P stop drinking your calories, give water a try!

Made me think of you beautiful people! YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT! Eat shit, and I promise, eventually it'll catch up to you if it hasn't already, and your body will be shit! :)