so whats up with me? besides website building and taking notes of the millions of ideas and fun things i have floating around me head lol A week ago i started the 21 day fix, a beach body program that focuses on portion control rather than calorie counting. im horrible at not counting calories, so im shocked that after a week i am actually certain ive lost some more weight.
i HAVE weight to lose. when may started i was still struggling to lose the last few lbs i had gained when i switched birth control. then it was my birthday and i indulged and drank (havent done that on my bday in the past 2 years. since ive "hit my goal" now, im trying to live a little). my mom came into to town for a few days so i drank and ate with her. then i went to mass and drank and ate some more. I drank more in the month of may than i drank in the last 3 years COMBINED. very unlike me. it was fun. but im over the headaches. over the extreme cravings that follow it, and over the fat. when i weighed in for my new challenge group and to start the 21 day fix last week i was a whopping 172lbs!!!!! holy fucking cow! thats 30lbs more than my lightest weight! aye carumba. this was the most "off the wagon" ive ever been. also the longest ive ever been off the wagon. but that party is over. back on track and trying to get back down to my skinniest! i am actually really looking forward to weighing in tomorrow!
yesterday i went to a free obstacle course race boot camp. My friend Tory that ive done a few races with now was there with all her friends as well. it was at an equestrian center and good lord those little flies or gnats or whatever the hell they are were EVERYWHERE. you know how they like cluster up on a horse? well they were doing that to humans. you dont know how many ass cracks i saw with like 50 flies on them. and 2 of these people were bent over right infront of my face and im telling you- they didnt smell! im assuming theyre just attracted to sweat because idk if i had them in my ass crack but they were swarming for me too! and i know i was clean! lol that was really weird and worth sharing, i thought lol
the boot camp itself was pretty fun. it started with forced suicides- and of course we wanted to kill ourselves. then 4 different stations we had to do all kinds of drills at. burpees, bear crawls, crab walks, frog jumps, etc. each station had 2 and they were rotating us.
finally it was time for the FUN- the obstacles! we ran for a bit and came to a wall jump, two 4' and two 6'. super proud of how easy getting over walls is becoming for me! then we had to carry a tire to a point and bring it back. carry a big log. walk a balance beam. carry a 10 gallon bucket filled with sand. run up an almost vertical wall. flip a tire. and run in between each obstacle. i was a little bummed because i thought there would be a rope to learn to climb, and there wasnt. i really wanna learn to climb a rope! but they did have those big ropes on the ground you sling with your arms. i had tried that for like 2 seconds at this gym i went to in MA and couldnt figure out how to do it. but i had instruction this time. the technique doesnt sound that hard, but its really hard! i was taking my turn and i actually fell on my butt! people laughed. historically, i would either have a) never been trying to do that in the first place but had i been brave enough to try i wouldve B) felt so embarrassed i prob wouldve went to the bathroom and cried it out after. i didnt cry. i actually didnt even feel that embarrassed. i was trying something new for the first time and i was brave enough to try in front of all those people. they got to see me fall. would it have been better if i never tried it so they wouldnt have laughed? nope!
there were like 4 different size tires to try to flip. i just flipped a tire for the first time at spartan race last month, so this is something ive been wanting to improve on. i didnt even try the first because i couldve picked it up with one arm. the second two i did with ease. the third tire was about 350lbs they said. and i tried. i tried SO HARD. i squatted so low and tried to flip that bitch and i just couldnt get it off the ground. the closest i got was like an inch. this chick i call baby hulk (didnt catch her name but she was like 5' and fit and kicking ass) did it with me, and it was easy as hell with her help. i feel like if i could just get it off the damn ground and up to like, my knee, i could flip it. i met a guy after ward who spotted me and helped. he said the first 6" are the hardest but once you clear that, you can do it. he swears he was barely touching the tire when i was able to do it with his assistance. but i dont want anyone touching the tire at all!! while we were there, another fitness group gave us flyers for their free obstacle bootcamp happening on the 28th. im going to go to that shit and before i leave that night, im flipping the biggest tire they got! Tory flipped that shit like a boss. she suggests i start squatting with the rack again. i had stepped away from that because i was noticing discomfort in my hip when running when i was doing that regularly. i also wasnt stretching as much as i do now. im gonna try and if i notice discomfort, ill stop. id rather be able to run than flip the biggest tire just to say i can. it was a really awesome workout and a whole lot of fun. super glad i went!
something else pretty cool happened too. Tory and I are both running an obstacle course race next week. i was sad because i wanted to run with her, but she is running with Black Girls Run- a running club for black women. I see them at like every race i run, and ive never noticed a white girl in the shirt. for a minute, i was actually offended when i thought about it. why would a club only want people of their own race to support them? i am not someone who cares about race, so i dont understand why youd want to run with only your race.i wanted to run with Tory, but i was feeling a little unwanted. part of me wanted to just ask if i could run with them, but i was afraid id be told yes just because its rude to say no. i didnt want anyone to feel like i was putting pressure by asking when the name of the group pretty clearly suggests that its not for me. i also didnt want anyone to be mad i was there, to think i was mocking them, or to suggest i am "trying to be black". i dont care about race enough to want to be another race, so thats not the scenario. instead of speaking up, i just let it hurt my feelings for about a week, then i posted something on FB about it and many of my friends told me my feelings were justified and they made me feel better. many even suggested i should just ask.
so me and tory were walking, she asked me what time my heat was, i told her 10 (hers is at 930) and she said "you can still run with us at 930 if you want". and then it came out. i told her i wanted to but didnt want to make anyone uncomfortable, didnt know if i was welcome, and didnt know how to ask. she responded that she had wanted to tell me i could register with the team, but she didnt know how to tell me without offending me either! she said theres usually at least 1 white girl. she also explained that the woman who started the group happened to be a black runner. when she told someone she was going to a race they responded with "black girls dont run!" and Black Girls Run was born. she wanted to break down that stereotype (which i didnt know existed! lol) so she started a running club to prove that black girls run & to cut down on the obesity epidemic among black people. I can respect that, and even more so, i appreciate that because it sparked an idea for myself. I cant share it yet because you know how i do, i dont announce until its official- 1 so people dont steal my idea, and 2 so i dont jinx it. lol but i already have my next project lined up for when i finish biggirlfitgirl.com! so to make a long story short, i will be running with Black Girls Run at miami Beach Beast next saturday morning! if youre going to be there, comment so i can meet you! :-D