WATCH NOW!!!
THIS documetary is availble to view for FREE from now until december 10th. if you care about your body and your health- WATCH IT!!!!! although i had already lost weight when i saw it, it completely changed my plan of action and was the catalyst to changing my life and getting off of anxiety and depression meds. if you do not understand what HEALTHY truly is, you need to see this!! enjoy :)
WATCH NOW!!!
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Thanksgiving was very unique for me this year! let me tell you ALL about it. ok, so if you do not know, the salon i work at is in a very Jewish neighborhood. Most of the clientele is jewish, the owner and some other stylists are as well. i worked in a jewish salon in LA as well, but not during Hannukkah season, so i didnt experience the things im learning about at this salon. the day before thanksgiving i worked my first Henna. A henna is exactly what you think- when they put henna on the brides hands before her wedding. However, its much more than that. the best way to describe it is a wedding shower, because the bride is getting gifts to prepare her for married life and it happens a couple days before the wedding. The couple is Israeli/Moroccan, and Wednesday was the first night of Hannukkah. So not only did i experience my first Henna, but also my first Hannukkah. The salon owner (Rina) had been telling me how amazing the food would be, since we were invited to be at the event in between changing the brides looks, i only ate fruit and Shakeology all day so i wouldnt screw myself into eating way more calories than normal. the hor d'oeuvres and side dishes were amazing. there was a carrot salad that tasted very similar to the morroccan carrot salad i ate during the ultimate reset! there was also sweet pickled cucumbers and baba ganoush, and olives, and other vegetable salad dishes. i had a little pocket filled with potato and a pastry topped with caramelized onions and another bite sized pastry with spinach and sundried tomato. a rude waiter took my plate while i was still eating and replaced it with fish, which i do not eat, so that helped restrict me from over eating for sure lol. we were busy styling the bride during the main course, so i didnt get to try that, but i did have dessert. Rina was raving about these "hannukkah donuts" (i cant remember the hebrew name, and even if i could, i couldnt spell it!) that i HAD to try. lucky for us, the brides mom had prepared the dough herself so they were the real deal. i had no idea what to expect but when i bit in, it was VERY FAMILIAR. where i am from in Massachusetts, most people are Portuguese. portugees eat fried dough, aka Malasadas. the hannukkah donuts tasted just like malasadas, but shaped like a donut. rather than being sprinkled with powdered sugar, it appeared to be honey or agave on top. it was delicious, and im proud to say i only are 1. i did also have some jewish cookies though. i didnt think they were anything like cookies, but thats what Rina called them. They were all different shapes and crunchy and covered in either honey or agave, some had sesame seeds (which i love) they were amazing. the food, as promised, was great. i got to see the bride and groom carried in, in thrones held up by men. i also saw them held up in chairs on the dance floor while dancing. and i also saw the first candle of hannukkah get lit! what an exerpience!! tuesday i go down south to do Jenni & her families hair (the beach body coach i met on instagram who home schools her kids, i blogged about them in the past) and theyre celebrating hannukah too! so i look forward to lighting a candle with them as well! i didnt get home from the Henna until after midnight. went right to bed and got up early to go to the gym to run a couple miles before i hit the road. the next day was not only the 2nd day of hannukah, but also thanksgiving and my nanas birthday! i drove up to orlando to have dinner with my aunt, her husband and children, my nana, and her partner at a super fancy restaurant called Norman's. on my way there i ate an apple and drank shakeology. I assumed i was going to be eating salad because restaurants can be tricky, and also because they are a fancy restaurant and most of those have a small menu. boy was i wrong!! they actually had a seared tofu vegan option! it wasnt actually on the menu but the waiter told me about it. i admit, i had four dinner rolls (yikes!) but it WAS thanksgiving! and the bread and olive oil and spices were amazing ( i only had about a table spoon of oil, no butter). i had water to drink, no alcohol. my first course was a salad with spring mix, nuts, and dried dates and apricots. my mail course was tofu with quinoa and veggies. i skipped dessert and had a pot of amazing vanilla french press tea, with honey. on the way back to my aunts hotel room we passed some hot apple cider and i did have a cup, the cups were about the size of a dixie cup you keep in your bathroom. i aint mad about that! that night i drove from orlando to ormond beach to spend the night and black friday with my maternal family. when i got to my memes, there was cherry pie and pumpkin bars and M&Ms and candy corn and creme puffs and cheesecake. i ate NONE. i went to bed, happy, not hungry, not stuffed, and proud.my uncle, from north carolina, was there. i havent seen him in almost exactly two years. last i saw him was about 2 months before the day i started my life style change. we took a pic together that to this day, horrifies me! so i made sure we took an AFTER picture. good news is, he still looks great too! the next day i woke up, laced up my sneakers, and took a 2 mile run around the neighborhood. i listened to christmas music. it was awesome. my christmas spirit is on HIGH this year lol i had a fruit plate for breakfast and hummus and carrots for a snack. we went to the Daytona Speedway to see the Turkey Trot- aka a classic car show they host every thanksgiving weekend. i wasnt that excited about it, but had way more fun than anticipated. it was so cool seeing my grandparents get all excited about cars they used to have and stuff. plus i was spending time with them and my aunt and uncle, so it didnt really matter what we did. when we got home we made dinner. meme made boiled potatoes ad pork chops. I made roasted veggies (carrots, mushrooms, zucchini & squash) and a big salad. it was delicious, and another great eating choice victory! everyone ate the veggies and most ate the salad. it made me so happy to see my family eating good! my aunt and uncle arent over weight, so i dont worry about them. but i know my grandparents do not eat right, so seeing them enjoy "my kind of food" made my heart happy. if youve been following me for a while, you know visiting my meme is always tough. she loves to feed. and her food tastes amazing, but its SO far from clean its scary. at one time, i dreamed about her food. and for the first year of my weightloss, i missed it. last christmas i decided that i was going to allow myself one plate of her type of food. i had only been eating vegan for about 3 weeks, but had been trying to eat cleaner (rather than just less calories) for only about 2 months, although i had already lost 100lbs. so i thought it would be OK to eat some stuffed shrimp, mashed potatoes, stuffing, veggies sauteed in butter, etc. i had ONE plate. about an hour later i was doing my aunts hair and having insane stomach cramps and hot flashes. in the middle of it, i had to lay down on the floor because my stomach hurt so bad and i thought i was going to pass out. i spent a long time in the bathroom, and quickly learned that even in moderation, Memes delicious food no longer agreed with me. now ive been eating mostly clean for 14 months, and vegan for a year, so i knew i couldnt even give it a try. but want to know the amazing part? meme didnt push me once. she never said "ash eat this!!" "ash, just have a bite" "how about a little peice?" not ONCE. historically, meme sends me home with tubs of leftovers and about a million canned goods. not this time. her fridge was STOCKED with fresh produce. i knew she had bought it for my stay, because they dont eat too much fresh produce. she always over prepares in the food department, so i didnt think it was that weird she bought way more than i could ever eat in 24 hours. but what i didnt know was that she intended to send me home with all of it. she literally emptied her fridge into my car. i planned on grocery shopping today. the only thing on my list i didnt have was garlic and kale. meme sent me home with an entire weeks groceries. literally. i planned my meals and i have enough food to feed me for the entire week. she gave me mushrooms, tomatos, zucchini, squash, carrots, bell pepper, onions, 2 tubs of hummus, celery, oranges, bananas, apples, parsnips, and about 30 spices. she also sent me home with some awesome plates. she said she wanted to get me plates because she knows i like my food to look nice. thats when i realized how awesome it is that my meme is on facebook. how else would she know something like that!? i have blogged that presentation of food is extremely imporant because it will make you feel more or less satisfied. she also sees all my pics of my pretty food. i thought it was so cool that she picked that up, ive never told her personally how i feel about presentation. my Meme is my angel. i LOVE all of my family, but this is the woman who makes me feel like i can do no wrong. she literally knows everything i have ever done wrong, and still loves me just the same. ive never questioned her love, because she puts it all out there. id have to be dumb, deaf, and blind to not see how much she loves me. my lifestyle is SO different now a days, and to see her do things differently than shes done for 60 years just to make me happy, is a serious reminder. i thought for the rest of my life my grandmother would be feeding me fudge and junk food. but now i realize it wasnt about the kind of food. at the time, i LOVED fudge and junk food, so she wanted to make sure i had some when i was with her and when i went home. but now she sees i loved fruit and veggies, and she wanted to make sure i had some while i was with her and when i went home. my mom does the same thing for me, and of course i appreciate her, but my mom has never mailed me 5lbs of home made fudge LOL so its not as big of a leap. for Meme to go from mailing me 5lbs of fudge at Christmas to sending me home with 20lbs of produce is a HUGE leap. i am so proud of my family. in the spirit of thanksgiving, i should put it out there that i am SO thankful for the support of my family through all of this. they really do go out of their way to keep me on track. whether it is stocking their house with foods they dont even eat so i have options (like my mom and meme do), or inviting me to a restaurant that will meet my needs and not pressuring me to eat dessert, to letting me store a foam roller and workout equipment at their house, letting me borrow their cars to get to the gym or zumba while i am in town, not teasing me and picking on me and asking me when ill be done losing or when i can "eat normal" again, constantly telling me how proud they are of me, getting involved and working out or drinking shakes with me, allowing me to cook for them and they actually eat and enjoy my food....... i seriously COULD NOT ask for a better family through all of this. i love you guys!! This needs to be said, because I don't think people realize how insulting it is. "Don't lose anymore weight!" "How much more are you going to lose?!" "Keep some meat on those bones!" Or any similar phrase you can come up with. The first reaction of the person you are speaking to is: FUCK OFF. The second thought may vary by person, but this is what it is for me: Well, considering I only did this for ME, I think it's only my opinion that matters about how much more I want to lose. You see me fully clothed and in many cases- only in pictures! Who uploads their worst picture to their social networks? No one! I obviously choose the pictures that I look my best and am proud of with the world. If you can see my wrinkles or my sag, I got run to Instagram and hash tag #selfie!! You do not know what my body looks like, so how do you know if I have more fat to burn? And "keep some meat on your bones?" The "meat" should be muscle- not fat. I don't know my % of weight, but my trainer says I have very high muscle mass. Therefore- even if I burn every ounce of fat on my body- I will not be skin and bones. Unless I go on a starvation diet, I will never have no meat. And if you follow my journey, you know a starvation diet isn't possible for me. The thing (for me) is that my project isn't done, I am not happy with how my body looks. I am still saving for surgery. When I have surgery, my skin will be tight and therefore the fat I have left is not going to pull it down and cause it to wrinkle. But in the meantime, I do not like how this looks. So I want to burn as much fat as possible so the looseness of my skin isn't as obvious. I feel like I should do as much of the work on my own before surgery, so I have the best results after. Until I have no more arm roll, no more leg sag, and some ab definition, I don't intend to stop working and losing! The amount of work I put in deserves to look like that. I want my body to display my hard work, not be hidden by the scars and sag of my past. I know some guys will say "oh you're too skinny" at some point. I also know guys will say "oh she's too muscley" at some point. I know the kind of body I want, some people don't find "attractive". Well guess what?! I spent my entire life in a body most people didn't find attractive! That's the norm for me, I am OK with that. But at least this time around my body will be a sign of my strength and something I am proud of showing off, rather than a sign of my weaknesses and something I feel like I have to show off to prove a point. The thing is, I realize people don't realize these comments hurt. I know this because I am guilty of saying it to other people! But at the time, I wasn't living it so I didn't know better. Now I know, and I want more people to know. It's rude. It's insulting. Even if you're thinking it, it's better left unsaid. I definitely will not be blogging every single day post reset, but I will be sure to keep you updated as to how I feel and the effects I notice. This morning didn't start off the best- I didn't have to poop. I HATE when I don't have to poop on weigh in day. I do it first thing almost every morning, but not today! Smh. I had to weigh in anyway and I was 145.00! So 3lbs from my current goal (50% loss) and 19.8lbs lost during the ultimate reset. I also lost 12". Unfortunately one of those inches was from my BOOBS. If you've never seen magic before look at my boobs. The way they disappear is incredible, I tell ya :-P I went to the gym and did some cross training and ran about a mile. Tomorrow I will run for about an hour, but only at a 4.5 speed (which is slow for me). This week I have to go "50%" but next week I can really push myself and that is exactly what I'll be doing. I can't decide what to do about 142.... Part of me wants to make it my goal for thanksgiving. 3 days away so id have to go extra hard for 3 days with a 3,500 calorie deficit each. That will be tough. I also am concerned about the wedding Wednesday night. I know there's going to be amazing food there, and most of it I haven't ever tried before. So even if I only take a couple bites, making a goal of weighing in at 142 on Thursday might be setting myself up for failure. Maybe I will weigh in on weds and if I make it, fab. If I don't, no weighing myself till Monday. I feel like once I hit half of me, maybe I can stop being a slave to the scale. At that point, I only have appearance goals, not numerical ones.... I my make a new # one to give me something to aim toward, but I think once I get to like 135 I should stop watching the scale so much, I need to break free, I am just a little scared because bring obsessed with it is what I am used to for the last 2 years! I made it out alive! i am officially a survivor of the Ultimate Reset!! Today was another great day. I woke up in a great mood, talked on the phone with my sister for a while and was lazy around the house in my PJs. I went to the last part of the 3 part nutrition seminar and ended up staying an hour after class ended to talk with the teacher more. It was really an AWESOME seminar, worth the time and more than every penny (it wasnt expensive- $40). Within the week I will be taking a couple hours to really post what i learned as well as some suggested reading/watching materials if you'd like to learn more. i did my little 2 mile walk at the gym and went to old navy to check out a sale that was going on. I decided to try on a size 6 pair of jeans and THEY FIT! they were definitely like painted on me lol but they zipped and they buttoned and i didnt even have a muffin top! yahooo!!! i wouldnt quite say 6 is my new size yet- but i can get it on my body and that feels GREAT. My pile of fat clothes is growing again so I am going to post them on eBay this week and clean house, yet again. I only have one blazer left that fits. its pretty annoying. But things like that cant be invested in now. I might need a small right now because i am completely flat chested, but then when i get my boobs done ill need new wardrobe AGAIN... so i am trying not to completely replace my wardrobe until after surgery. food today was mostly good. Carrot Seaweed Medley for lunch was awesome, but unfortunately i didnt like the cucumber avocado soup. I was looking forward to it because its a cold, raw, soup and i didnt even know cold soup existed until last week at my seminar. But unfortunately, this was not a winner. I wasnt very hungry at dinner anyways so i took a few bites of it and just ate my veggies. tomorrow will be a weird day. I am SO excited to do my weigh in and will be happy with whatever the scale says because i know i earned every pound and i know i did a great job repairing my body the last 3 weeks, forcing me to remove my focus from weight loss. However, i REALLY wanted to be 142 but wasnt able to push myself to the point that i think its realistic for me to be 142 tomorrow. So ill be happy with what i get- but ill be wishing it had been 142. it takes me back to my shitty week pre-reset because if i hadnt packed on so many LBS that week my body wouldnt have had to take it off AGAIN and i would deff be 142 by now. So my unintentional, self sabotage, worked. Ugh. if i dont hit 142 i will be super close. and i will make it my goal to hit 142 by next monday.... if i am only a pound or so away- i will prob make it my goal by thanksgiving lol i havent even got to go workout or get back into regular life yet, but i already feel like i will do this again. the second time is going to be SO much easier because you know what to expect and can be really prepared. I am not sure when i will do it but i def plan to. maybe i will do it after i have surgery. the "revitalize" supplement helps put bacteria back in your intestines. it would be smart to use that after taking antibiotics because a lot of antibiotics kill the digestive bacteria. i did do my "post reset" research and will be reversing my diet slowly. although ill make some of my own recipes a lot of the ultimate reset recipes will be used, and i will definitely only be using ultimate reset ingredients for the next 2 weeks minimum. I want to slowly reintroduce foods so i can see how i tolerate them now. bringing them back one at a time will make it so i can easily tell which foods do not agree with me. ill be posting Like talk about panicking! For the last 3 weeks all I wanted was to make my OWN food plan and now that the time has come I want one ready to follow! Lol I guess I am not really panicking. I'm just kind of feeling like "what now?". I'm going to review the "post reset" part of the book as well as check out the support group. I think I need some assistance easing back into normalcy on Monday. Today was a busy day as far as work goes. Spent a lot of time driving and in the car which sucked ass- but I made good $$ so was worth it. I didn't have to mess up on my eating- I had my lunch box packed and the details written out on my white board before I had the chance to worry! Today was mostly good. I wasn't hungry and only felt lightheaded when standing once- which is a hell of a lot better than the last few days. My body hurts a lot today but I think it's from 3 hours in the car and doing hair in a chair that is not a proper hairdresser chair for a couple hours. I rolled around on the foam roller and did a 2 mile walk at the gym. I CANNOT WAIT to lift weights on Monday. I will be a good girl and follow the plan of only pushing 40% but I am thrilled just to be able to do it, honestly. As tempted as ill be to go hard, I know it is smarter to follow the plan and wait a week before I give 100% again. That'll give me exactly 4 weeks to finish my half marathon training! Something new that happened today is I made a meal I hated. Jicama Avocado Salad. Literally the first recipe (besides the fennel that I didn't even cook once I cut it) that has made me say Ew. I could only force down about half and then threw it out and made a half micro green salad instead. That was disappointing. But 2 out of 66 (the amount of meals you cook during the reset) ain't bad! Another mostly good day today! i did feel a little irritable again, but partly because my schedule for the day got messed up right at 9am and i was not able to make my nuerofeedback appointment.
the past few days i have been experiencing some lightheaded and dizziness upon standing. the last few days, it was only once or twice a day. but today it was every single time i stood, even when i only sat on the toilet. A few times I had to grab a counter or a chair because i blacked out for a second. I didnt fall or anything, but i couldnt see, my mind was just black and i had to close my eyes and take deep breaths for a few minutes while it passes. i finally decided to check it out with the search feature on the support facebook page. I read about a few other people its happened to. The advice given to them was that meany times during cleansing you will experience low blood pressure- and thats what this is. They reccommend drinking more water- but since im already drinking a gallon a day i asked for more advice. another person suggested i eat a little extra and another suggested that i use more salt. this has happened to me a few times in the past. usually when ive been eating really clean for a really long time without slip ups (like now). i need to look more into it though. I always thought it was low blood sugar- because the thing my diet always has in common when it happens is that i am eating very low carbs and sugar. i ended up eating about a cup of grapes and a raw corn on the cob along with my lunch (that was when i got the advice to eat more.) this is something i will deff be looking into more even post reset- because i want to the picture of health more than the picture of sexy, and nothing about blacking out is healthy! the first thing im going to do is look up the differences in symptoms for low blood sugar compared to pressure. then we will see where i end up from there. something ive noticed today is that when i eat, i do not think i am full if i am not stuffed. There were a few times during the reset where i was truly stuffed, becuase the portions are huge. on those occasions (and today after eating my lunch, corn and grapes) that i have felt stuffed, i didnt feel the desire to keep eating after i finished. if i am not stuffed, however, i have the STRONGEST desire to keep eating! i am glad i noticed this because im really going to pay more attention this. I want to eat because my body needs food- not my mind. today was a long day and tomorrow will be another! i did another 45 minute walk on the treadmill today. I am hoping to tomorrow as well but might have to settle for the side walk depending on if my schedule allows me to get to the gym before its closed. i look forward to sunday because i get to do nothing but go to my nutrition class, go for a walk, blog, put up my xmas decorations, and relax! itll also be the last day of the reset so ill do my grocery list and meal planning. im nervous for the upcoming week because i believe i will not be 142 on monday- so i need to bust my ass this week to get there. unfortunately, i am styling for a wedding wednesday night that ive been invited to stay at and the food is supposed to be amazing. if i was alone i would decline, but the salon owner is also going and i know she wants to eat lol it will be tough to only have a taste. then the next day is thanksgiving and ill be eating at a restaurant with my aunts family and then spending the night and black friday with my grandparents. there is going to be a lot of opportunity, a lot of temptation, and a lot of excuses available- but im going to do my best! Another great day! I got to sleep in because i had no appointments today! i was in bed until almost 9:30, got up, took my supplements, rolled around on the foam roller, ate breakfast, and went to the gym. I waslked at a 2.8 and 7.0 incline for about 45minutes. food was easy to prep today. i substituted roasted beets for roasted fennel becuase i think fennel tastes like black licorice. I feel lean and i look good. Im SO damn tempted to weigh myself, but am keeping my scale in the closet so i cant cave and weigh in before monday lol i had the whollllle day off today. it was nice to kind of regroup, get my house cleaned, and relax. Ive been thinking about post reset a lot the last few days. I am excited to try some new recipes as well as excited to make some of the reset recipes again. i was thinking about what i am going to make for christmas (this is the first year ill spend spending christmas at my own house) and what i am going to eat a few days later the night before my first half marathon and the morning of the race. i am SO excited to start running again. SO excited to finish the half and even more excited to eventually run a marathon and complete a triathalon. i feel happy and optomistic and healthy! tomorrow will be a busy day but im not worried about it. I know i can handle it! wont have time to eat in the car so im going to be starving by lunch (breakfast at 830, lunch around 3) but id rather be hungry than grab food i can eat while i drive that is NOT part of my plan. i already took my hot epsom salt bath and am going to watch a movie in bed and call it an early night. hair appt, nuero feedback, hair appt tomorrow. and then BAKED TEMPEH for dinner! im excited, cant ya tell? lol Today was actually a really good day :) No headaches, no stuffy nose, wasnt tired, wasnt hungry, wasnt irritable. I really felt good. This morning it was sunny, since i knew it was supposed to rain I took advantage of catching the sunshine and went roller skating on the broadwalk at the beach. I didnt push myself and go fast or 10 miles or anything. I only was there 40 minutes. But the sun felt great, moving around felt great, and i was practicing my body acceptance by wearing a biikini that clearly shows all my sag and wrinkles. I think its to the point now youd have to be retarded not to realize i lost a ton of weight. But it still makes me feel like im not supposed to be exposed and i shouldnt be in a bikini. Pain in my ass. Day 16 was a pretty good day! I couldnt take it any more though, I went to the gym. But i didnt go hard or anything. I walked on the treadmill at speeds between 2.5 and 3.0 and an incline between 5.0 and 7.0. I went about 2.25 miles, I broke a little sweat, and it felt amazing. Just being inside the building felt amazing. My little walks with Bella just arent cutting it! lol with only 5 days left i am realllllly looking forward to getting back in the gym for real. after the gym i took a hot epsom salt bath. i wasnt sore at all afterward. I had a busy day today so ended up having dinner in the car again. It was luke warm kale and curry cauliflower but it still tasted OK. I felt like i stunk like curry during my painting class though, from eating it in such a small space lol. the other women who were at the class all knew eachother so i was kind of the odd lady out, but i just happened to want to do the painting they were doing that night for a christmas gift, so i went! i was a little irritable because they were all drinking and giggly and i just wanted to paint. they offered me wine and grapes and hummus and crackers and cheese but i declined. mega self control there! I got home from the class and it was almost 10pm. I was feeling a little tired but it actually took me a while to wind down enough to sleep. I definitely do not feel tired. I thought I might be. The food is still a vegan diet so its not that different from normal for me. I am used to a TON of veggies. The part im not used to is no beans or grains and wheat(which is actually working out well for me though). i think post reset i am going to aim to make more all veggie meals. |